A Presbyterian Bar Mitzvah? Establishing Meaningful Coming-of-Age Ceremonies

Why baptized teenage guys deserve to be in men’s ministry, not youth ministry

A Presbyterian Coming-of-Age Ceremony: A Rite of Faith and Covenant

American evangelicalism is notorious for infantilizing teenagers. Presbyterianism, given its history, should be different. However, Presbyterians, especially in the South, who claim to be “Presbyterian” often treat their children, in practice, as if they were part of an evangelical Baptist or non-denominational church. Instead of treating baptized children as covenant members, they are regarded as covenant outsiders, excluded in “youth ministry” before being fully included in the life of the church.

Baptized, covenant children are royalty. It is time to move away from evangelical models and treat them with the excellence they deserve.

In the spirit of the Jewish tradition of Bar Mitzvah, a Presbyterian or Anglican coming-of-age ceremony can be envisioned to mark the transition of teenagers into a stage of greater spiritual and communal responsibility in the life of the church. After all, what are we baptizing them for? What’s the communicant member’s class for? What the point of all this? Baptized and communicant teenagers deserve more than typical evangelical youth ministry models. They deserve the very best and highest quality of all the means of grace.

Its’ time to get creative and stop relying what’s been done in the past. Kids deserve the absolute best. What evangelicalism provides is not good enough. It is, by definition, substandard.

We need to make these religious transitions for teens life-changing, core memories. This ceremony idea integrates the covenantal principles of infant baptism as outlined in Presbyterian doctrine, celebrating growth, faith, and commitment with becoming a communicant member. A foundational aspect of this rite is that the young man must become a communicant member, affirming his readiness through a dedicated class and examination.

NOTE: The following model should also be applied to the women of the church and teenage girls, as they are baptized as covenant children and become communicant members. Women should mentor and guide them, just as the men do with the boys in their congregation.

Understanding the Foundation: Covenant and Baptism

The Presbyterian practice of infant baptism reflects the belief that God includes the children of believers within His covenant community. Baptized children are seen as members of the church and recipients of God’s promise. As they grow, there comes a time when these young members are invited to consciously embrace their covenant identity. This ceremony serves as a pivotal moment for young Presbyterians to affirm their baptismal identity, recognize their role in God’s covenant, and step into active spiritual formation as communicant members.

The Role of the Communicants Class: Before participating in the coming-of-age ceremony, young members must complete a Communicants Class to prepare them for their public profession of faith. This class, led by church leaders, provides them with a deeper understanding of the gospel, the tenets of their faith, and the significance of partaking in the Lord’s Supper. Upon approval by the Session after examination, the young members transition from non-communicant to communicant members, gaining the right to partake in communion and fully participate in the life of the church.

Recognizing Challenges and Growth

As young people mature, they begin to face questions of identity, capability, and resilience. The coming-of-age ceremony emphasizes that life involves challenges and hard work, during which they learn important lessons and gain confidence. The church helps guide them to discover their abilities and trust in God’s provision through experiences of growth and perseverance.

Elements of the Ceremony

• Personal Testimony: The young communicant shares an experience where they faced a challenge or opportunity for growth, highlighting how it built their faith and character.

• Encouragement to Embrace Growth: The pastor or elder reminds the youth that life is a journey that builds resilience and deeper trust in God.

Stepping Into Responsibility

This stage marks a significant moment where the young person is called to take on greater responsibility within their church and community. The ceremony underscores their commitment to live faithfully, serve others, and uphold the teachings of Christ. This commitment is a reflection of their transition from childhood to recognized adulthood in the faith as a communicant member.

Other Elements of the Ceremony:

• Scripture Reading and Reflection: The young communicant selects and reads a meaningful Scripture passage that resonates with their faith journey and reflects on its importance.

• Affirmation of Faith: The youth recites a statement of faith, reaffirming the beliefs professed during their baptism and what they learned in the Communicants Class.

• Charge to the Young Person: The pastor or elder delivers a charge, emphasizing their duty to stand firm in faith, engage in service, and live with conviction.

Church Community Support and Inclusion

As the young person is welcomed into the church as an adult and communicant member, specific instructions are provided to help them understand their new role. This includes expectations of participation in church activities and committees, leading prayers or discussions, and supporting various ministries. The church reaffirms its commitment to nurture, guide, and involve them in its mission.

Incorporating Community Support:

• Blessings and Prayers: Parents, mentors, and elders offer blessings, highlighting the young person’s unique gifts and urging them to seek an active and loving relationship with Christ.

• Communal Vows: The congregation commits to supporting the young person as they grow in faith, offering mentorship, opportunities for service, and continued spiritual guidance.

Ceremonial Practices and Symbolism

Covenant Meal: A symbolic meal shared with family and church members signifies the communal bond within the body of Christ.

Personal Speech: The young person shares reflections on their faith journey and aspirations, connecting their experiences to their commitment to the church. As a declaration of maturity and faith, the young man concludes his speech by stating, "Today, I am a man," signifying his readiness to embrace the responsibilities of adult membership in the church.

Honoring the Declaration: Following the young man’s proclamation, the elders and men of the church step forward to acknowledge and honor this declaration. This acknowledgment includes words of affirmation from the elders, a formal welcome into the fellowship of adult men in the congregation, and an invitation to participate in activities that emphasize leadership, service, and spiritual growth. This symbolic gesture reinforces the communal support and the expectations of his new role. The young man’s status as a communicant member affirms his readiness to partake fully in the Lord’s Supper, marking his complete inclusion in the spiritual life of the church. He’s ready to start now actively serving in the church.

Presentation of a Gift: The church or family may gift the young person with a meaningful item, such as a personalized Bible or a keepsake with a verse of encouragement.

Next Expectations for Adult Involvement

Following the ceremony and becoming a communicant member, the young man is now recognized as an adult in the church. He is invited to contribute through:

• Participation in Worship: Assisting in services, reading Scripture, and leading prayer.

• Joining Committees or Ministries: Becoming involved in church programs that align with how the church could use him.

• Mentorship and Support: Being paired with an elder or mentor to guide him in his early adult years within the church.

• Community Engagement: Encouraged to participate in outreach and service projects, demonstrating his faith through actions.

Men’s Fellowship and Guidance: The men of the church continue to provide guidance, modeling spiritual maturity and offering a space for mentorship and growth. The young man is included in discussions and activities that are designed to deepen his understanding of faith and service.

Men’s Ministry Not Youth Ministry

Baptized boys who have completed their Communicants Class, as outlined in the PCA's Book of Church Order, should be brought directly into the men's ministry rather than remaining in youth ministry for several key reasons:

Recognition of Their Covenant Identity

In Presbyterian theology, infant baptism signifies that children of believers are members of the covenant community from birth. Completing the Communicants Class and being accepted as communicant members means these young men have publicly affirmed their faith and taken responsibility for their part in the covenant. Treating them as full participants in the life of the church, including men's ministry, acknowledges their identity as covenant members, not as outsiders waiting for full inclusion.

Integration into the Church Body

Men’s ministry provides these young communicant members with opportunities to grow spiritually alongside mature, experienced believers. This integration strengthens their understanding of what it means to be a member of the church and exposes them to models of faith, service, and leadership. Youth ministry often isolates teenagers from the broader church body, delaying their transition into mature church life. By moving into men’s ministry, they experience firsthand the depth of commitment and fellowship expected of adult members.

Affirmation of Their Spiritual Maturity

Completing the Communicants Class involves rigorous instruction in the faith, the gospel, the sacraments, and church life, followed by an examination by the Session. Successfully becoming a communicant member demonstrates readiness for deeper engagement with the church. Keeping these young men in youth ministry after such a significant rite of passage can send the wrong message—that their growth is incomplete or that they are still spiritually immature. Inclusion in men’s ministry reinforces the idea that they are recognized as capable of participating fully in the life of the church.

Encouragement for Responsibility and Leadership

Men’s ministry emphasizes roles that involve service, leadership, and active participation in the mission of the church. Inviting young communicant members to join men’s ministry allows them to step into responsibilities that challenge them to develop integrity, serve others, and grow in faith. It sets a precedent that they are expected to contribute meaningfully rather than passively remain in programs geared toward those still forming their commitment to the church.

Eliminating the Perception of 'Graduation' from Youth Ministry

If a church has a youth ministry, it should not be seen as the default place for those who are now communicant members. Continuing to treat young men as part of youth ministry after they have affirmed their covenant faith can make it seem as though they are in a holding pattern until they "graduate" from church life. Instead, incorporating them into men's ministry makes clear that their participation in the life of the church is active, present, and valued now—not at some undefined point in the future.

Cultivating Intergenerational Discipleship

A core principle of Reformed ecclesiology is the value of intergenerational discipleship. Men's ministry creates an environment where young communicants can learn from older, wiser members, building connections that strengthen their faith and understanding of what it means to live as a Christian man. This type of discipleship is less likely to happen in youth programs, which tend to be more segregated by age.

Reinforcing the Church's Commitment to Its Doctrine

By integrating young communicant members into men’s ministry, the church demonstrates its commitment to its Reformed doctrine and the significance of covenant theology. It reinforces the belief that baptism is not merely a ceremonial tradition but a profound act that brings children into the covenant community, and that their public profession of faith is an important milestone marking their readiness to participate fully in the life of the church.

Summary: A New Chapter

This coming-of-age ceremony affirms that baptism was not an end but a beginning. It invites the young man into deeper engagement with his faith journey, where he is expected to embrace the growth that comes through challenges, commit to service, and nurture his spiritual and communal relationships. Becoming a communicant member reflects his readiness to partake in the Lord’s Supper, symbolizing his full integration into the life of the church. Through this rite of passage, he is reminded of his identity as part of God’s covenant people and is welcomed as a valued and active member of the church, called to live with faith, integrity, and love. The ceremony serves as both a recognition of past growth and a call to future devotion, as the young man steps confidently into his place within the church's fellowship, bearing the responsibilities and joys of adulthood in Christ.

BTW, it’s not Jewish, it’s also Presbyterian

Scottish Presbyterian history, rooted in the Reformed tradition, offers significant, though often understated, rites of passage marking a boy’s transition into adulthood. These practices highlight personal faith, spiritual commitment, and integration into the church community. Here are some notable examples, supported by historical records and writings:

Confirmation

One of the most significant rites of passage within Scottish Presbyterianism is confirmation, also known as the profession of faith. This practice signifies a young person’s public declaration of their faith and their acceptance into full communicant membership of the church. Historian John McCallum notes in Reforming the Scottish Parish: The Reformation in Fife, 1560–1640 that confirmation was often accompanied by rigorous theological instruction, preparing young boys to affirm their faith publicly and take on adult responsibilities in the church (McCallum, 2010).

Communion Preparation Classes

Participation in communion preparation classes was another important tradition for young boys in Scottish Presbyterian communities. These classes educated them on the significance of the Lord’s Supper and the tenets of Reformed doctrine. In The Sacramental Theology of John Knox, Ronald S. Wallace illustrates how the emphasis on understanding communion as a means of grace and covenant renewal marked a significant step in the life of young congregants, preparing them for deeper engagement in church life (Wallace, 1957).

Catechism and Religious Instruction

The memorization and comprehension of the Westminster Shorter Catechism were historically foundational for youth in the Scottish Presbyterian tradition. James K. Cameron’s The First Book of Discipline details how catechism training was a key component of religious education, acting as a rite of passage to demonstrate theological understanding and readiness for adult participation in church activities (Cameron, 1972). The ability to recite and explain catechism answers was seen as a significant achievement, signaling readiness for more mature roles within the faith community.

Public Testimonies

In some Scottish congregations, making a public testimony or responding to questions from church elders was part of the process when professing faith for the first time. According to Ian R. Torrance in Scottish Theology: From John Knox to John McLeod Campbell, this public act underscored the individual's personal commitment and adherence to the Reformed faith. Such practices reinforced the communal nature of faith and underscored the transition from adolescence to adulthood (Torrance, 1996).

Joining the Kirk Session

Although typically reserved for older youth or adults, joining the Kirk Session as an elder was considered a major milestone of maturity. Young men who demonstrated strong character, knowledge of Presbyterian doctrine, and leadership potential were invited to serve as elders. This should be an aspiration to teenage boys in the church. The role signified not only adulthood but also a dedication to guiding the spiritual and practical life of the church. This practice is detailed in The Eldership in Scottish Presbyterianism by David W. Hall, which describes how serving in this capacity was a recognition of one’s commitment and maturity (Hall, 2010).

Community Celebrations

While formal rites were paramount, more informal, communal gatherings also marked a boy’s coming of age. These events included shared meals and biblical readings. In Presbyterians in Transition: A Study of Change in the Church of Scotland, Kenneth Jeffrey explains that while the church often maintained a solemn and structured approach to religious practice, rural parishes sometimes celebrated milestones with community fellowship, reinforcing the young man’s role within the church and society (Jeffrey, 2002).

Mentorship by Elders and Fathers in the Church

Mentorship by church elders provided an essential rite of passage that equipped young men for adulthood. Elders would offer spiritual guidance and practical wisdom, fostering the transition from youth to active participant in church life. In The Scottish Kirk: 1560–1716, Andrew L. Drummond and James Bulloch discuss how mentorship was integral to sustaining the church’s teachings and values across generations, marking it as a less formal but impactful rite of passage (Drummond & Bulloch, 1973).

Conclusion

To encourage Presbyterian Church in American¹ parents to raise their boys as covenant members, it is essential to embrace the distinct identity conferred through infant baptism and the catechisms provided in the Westminster Confession of Faith. Unlike the evangelical approach, which often treats youth as external to the church until a specific conversion experience as a means of earning grace and inclusion, Presbyterian doctrine calls parents and church adults to recognize and nurture their children as integral members of the covenant community. Through rites of passage such as a coming-of-age ceremony, parents can reinforce the sacred bond formed in baptism and celebrated in catechism classes. These moments of transition can become transformative, rooting young men firmly in their faith and integrating them fully into the life and service of the church.

By raising boys with an understanding of their covenantal identity, parents guide them to embrace their roles as active disciples who understand their faith, contribute meaningfully, and grow into mature leaders. This approach not only honors the theological foundations of Presbyterianism but also ensures that boys grow up feeling affirmed, included, and prepared for spiritual adulthood within their church community. Let us reclaim these traditions and practices to make the journey of faith one that forms deep and lasting memories—cultivating men who live out their baptismal vows with conviction and joy. Baptized boys deserve categorically better than what evangelical models provide.

1. I’m using Presbyterianism as a model but this could also be applied to Anglicanism, Lutheranism, etc.