The Lost Boys In The UK: A Warning for America’s Present

The Crisis of Boys and Men Is Undermining Western Civilization

Photo by leah hetteberg on Unsplash

Lost Boys in the UK: A Warning for America’s Present

My frustration level is at ten.

“The Lost Boys: State of the Nation” report from the UK is a flashing red warning light for what’s happening to boys in America, yet we continue to ignore it. Across education, employment, crime, and mental health, young men are spiraling downward, and the root cause is no mystery: fatherlessness. The UK has seen nearly half of firstborn children grow up without both biological parents, and the consequences are staggering—boys are failing in school, struggling to find work, and turning to crime or digital escapism. The exact same trends are unfolding in the U.S., yet we refuse to acknowledge them. Meanwhile, American churches—institutions that should be leading the charge in forming boys—seems to be doing absolutely nothing. Instead of creating programs to care specifically for boys, in a unique space, churches are focused on “engaging culture” and youth ministry entertainment programs, while millions of young men drift into despair.

If the church won’t step up, the social media influencers of the world will. Boys will search for guidance, and if they don’t find it from good men, they’ll turn to influencers who push materialism, misogyny, and power as the only measures of masculinity. We are watching an entire generation of boys disconnect from their own futures, and yet the church remains silent. This crisis will not fix itself, and “hope” is not a strategy. The time for action is now—churches must take responsibility, invest in strong male mentorship, and actively work to rebuild fatherhood and masculine identity. If we continue sitting on the sidelines, we are complicit in the destruction of the next generation.

The Research

The "Lost Boys: State of the Nation" report by the Centre for Social Justice (March 2025) highlights a growing crisis among boys and young men in the UK, where they are falling behind in education, employment, social mobility, and mental health. While past decades have seen significant progress for women, young men are now increasingly left behind, with particularly troubling trends in fatherlessness, crime, health, and digital addiction.

Key Findings:

• Employment & Pay: Young men (16-24) are more likely to be unemployed or not in education or training (NEET) than young women. Since the pandemic, the number of NEET males has risen by 40%, while female numbers increased by only 7%. The gender pay gap has reversed, with young men now earning less than their female peers, especially in the North of England.

• Education: Boys lag behind girls from primary school to university. Only 60% of boys are deemed "school-ready" at age 5 compared to 75% of girls. Boys underperform girls in GCSEs, A-levels, and university enrollment, and are twice as likely to be expelled from school. Many sixth-form students report being taught that boys are a societal problem.

• Family Breakdown & Fatherlessness: 2.5 million children in the UK have no father figure at home. Almost half of firstborns do not live with both natural parents by age 14. Father absence correlates with worse mental health, higher crime rates, and lower educational attainment, with 76% of incarcerated youth reporting an absent father.

• Crime & Violence: 96% of UK prisoners are male, and young men are disproportionately victims of violent crime. Boys account for 87% of teenage homicide victims and 90% of hospital admissions for knife injuries.

• Mental & Physical Health: One in four boys in Year 6 is obese. Steroid use among boys as young as 13 is rising, and eating disorders among boys have increased significantly. Male suicide rates remain alarmingly high—three and a half times that of females in the 15-19 age range.

• Technology & Pornography: Digital addiction disproportionately affects boys. Nearly all 12-year-olds own smartphones, and boys are exposed to violent online content at much higher rates than girls. Pornography is shaping harmful behaviors, with over 88% of pornographic scenes containing physical violence. Reports of “sextortion” crimes—where boys are blackmailed over explicit images—rose by 257% in 2023.

The report argues that Britain is witnessing a decline in positive male role models, leaving many boys to seek guidance from controversial online figures. The Centre for Social Justice calls for urgent action to re-engage boys in education, provide economic opportunities, and promote strong male role models, particularly through addressing fatherlessness and reforming schooling to support male learning styles. Without intervention, this crisis will deepen, with significant economic and social consequences.

Crisis in Families and Fatherhood: The Root of the Masculinity Crisis

The UK is grappling with a masculinity crisis, with young men struggling to define their roles and purpose in society. At the heart of this issue is fatherlessness, a growing phenomenon that has led to significant social and economic consequences. One in five children in the UK—2.5 million total—do not live with a father figure, making the country a global outlier in terms of family breakdown. The trend is worsening: in 2023, nearly 46% of first-born children aged 14 were not living with both biological parents, compared to just 21% in 1970. While family structures have evolved, the implications of father absence remain severe, particularly for boys.

The UK has one of the highest rates of long-term single-mother households in Europe. In other countries, single-parent families are often transitional, with shared custody arrangements or eventual cohabitation. In the UK, however, single-mother households are more permanent, leaving many boys without consistent male role models. This absence has a ripple effect: boys raised without fathers are more likely to struggle academically, experience behavioral issues, and develop mental health problems. One young boy interviewed in Cumbria explained, “Not having a father figure is hard. There’s so many of us that don’t have that, and I see how it affects boys—the fights, not having a father to turn to, and a lot of us don’t have any male role models to help.”

The Widespread Effects of Fatherlessness

The impact of father absence is not limited to boys alone. Girls raised without fathers are more likely to experience low self-esteem, depression, earlier sexual activity, and an increased risk of eating disorders. While both genders suffer from fatherlessness, the consequences for boys are particularly acute. The lack of male role models leads to confusion about masculinity, struggles with discipline, and an increased likelihood of criminal involvement. Research shows that parental separation reduces the economic and psychological well-being of children, as financial resources and parental engagement are stretched thinner across two households.

Fatherlessness is also self-perpetuating, leading to generational cycles of absent fathers. Studies show that boys raised without a father are more likely to become absent fathers themselves, continuing the pattern. The economic burden is enormous—estimates suggest that family breakdown costs the UK government £64 billion annually, factoring in welfare dependency, lower educational attainment, and increased crime rates.

Father Absence and the Criminal Justice System

One of the clearest connections to fatherlessness is its impact on crime. Three-quarters (76%) of incarcerated youth report having an absent father, and studies estimate that 60% of boys whose fathers have been incarcerated go on to commit crimes themselves. These figures suggest a clear link between growing up without a father and later involvement in the criminal justice system. Beyond individual lives, the financial burden is staggering: the cost of keeping a single prisoner in the UK is over £50,000 per year, meaning that fatherlessness is not just a social issue but an economic one.

Young men who lack fathers are also more likely to engage in antisocial behavior, join gangs, and become involved in violent crime. In 2022-2023, boys accounted for 87% of homicide victims aged 16-24, and nine out of ten victims of teenage violence were male. The rise of violent youth crime, particularly knife crime, has been disproportionately impacting boys, with over 90% of hospital admissions for stabbing injuries being male. These statistics reveal a deepening crisis in male identity, where fatherlessness leaves young men vulnerable to influences that push them toward crime.

Father Absence and Mental Health Decline

Beyond crime, father absence has profound implications for mental health. Boys who grow up without fathers are significantly more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. A large-scale study on adolescent mental health found that boys who lose their fathers before age five follow a similar mental health trajectory to their peers until their early twenties—at which point their depression rates spike sharply. The study’s authors suggest that young men may experience a renewed sense of loss as they transition into adulthood, realizing they lack a male role model to guide them in career choices, relationships, and personal development.

The mental health crisis among young men is further exacerbated by economic instability and social isolation. Studies show that men without strong father figures often struggle to form stable relationships, maintain employment, and develop a sense of self-worth. The traditional pathways to male adulthood—education, stable work, marriage, and fatherhood—have become less accessible, leaving many young men without a clear sense of purpose.

The Rise of Andrew Tate and the Search for Masculine Role Models

In the absence of fathers and positive male mentors, many boys are turning to online influencers to define their masculinity. Andrew Tate, a controversial internet personality, was the third most Googled person in the world in 2023, reflecting his growing influence over disillusioned young men. Tate’s message—focusing on dominance, wealth, and rejection of mainstream values—resonates with boys who feel alienated from society and lack strong male role models at home.

During research visits, Andrew Tate’s name was frequently mentioned as a symbol of modern masculinity. Many boys see him as one of the only voices speaking directly to them, in contrast to a society that often portrays men as weak, oppressive, or unnecessary. The vacuum left by absent fathers, declining job prospects, and a shifting cultural landscape has made figures like Tate appealing to a generation of young men searching for meaning.

The concern is that boys are being drawn toward an extreme, unhealthy version of masculinity rather than a positive, constructive one. If society does not offer alternative male role models—through fathers, mentors, or community leaders—young men will continue to seek out answers in the most radical places.

Boys Staying Home Longer and Delayed Adulthood

Another growing trend among young men is delayed independence. A rising number of young men are still living with their parents well into their late twenties, struggling to establish themselves in adulthood. In 2023, one-third of men aged 20-34 lived at home, compared to less than a quarter of women. The average age for men moving out is now 25, compared to 22 for women.

The reasons for this delay are complex, but they cannot be explained by economic factors alone. While high housing costs and extended education play a role, the deeper issue appears to be a loss of direction and purpose among young men. Without clear role models, stable careers, or confidence in their future, many young men are choosing to delay major life milestones such as moving out, starting careers, or forming relationships.

The Need for Stronger Fathers and Mentorship

The data paints a stark picture: boys in Britain need fathers and male role models more than ever. The absence of fathers is at the heart of the masculinity crisis, fueling crime, mental health struggles, and a generation of young men who feel lost. Addressing this crisis requires a fundamental shift in how society values fatherhood.

Fathers provide stability, discipline, and guidance, offering young men an example of what responsible masculinity looks like. Without this presence, boys turn to crime, struggle in school, and lack the confidence needed to succeed. The crisis of fatherlessness is not just a personal issue for individual families—it is a national emergency with long-term economic, social, and psychological consequences.

To break the cycle, there must be greater emphasis on strengthening families, promoting father involvement, and offering mentorship programs for boys. Schools, churches, and communities must step up to provide male mentorship where fathers are absent. Society must recognize that boys need fathers just as much as mothers, and the consequences of ignoring this issue will only worsen in the coming years.

Conclusion

The UK’s crisis with boys and young men will not be solved because the country refuses to acknowledge the real problem with the right solutions. For decades, British institutions have pushed an aggressive radical feminist agenda that frames any focus on boys as a threat to girls. The result? A culture that treats male struggles as irrelevant—or worse, deserved. Britain has prioritized dismantling gender distinctions, eroding the idea that men and women have unique but complementary roles in society. In the process, they’ve left an entire generation of boys without a clear sense of identity, purpose, or direction. While girls have been propelled forward with relentless advocacy, investment, and institutional support, boys have been left to drift, with anyone raising concerns about male disadvantage dismissed as “reactionary” or “anti-woman.” The dominant cultural narrative insists that helping boys must come at the expense of girls, as if success were a zero-sum game.

This pervasive misandry, as some would argue, explains why the UK may continue to ignore the best solutions or even exacerbate the problems outlined in the Lost Boys report. Instead of confronting the role of fatherlessness, educational bias, and systemic neglect in the crisis, policymakers will likely double down on the same failing strategies. Without a radical shift in how masculinity is valued and supported, the country will watch as more boys fall into crime, addiction, and despair. Britain’s refusal to address these issues honestly ensures that its young men will remain a lost generation, trapped in a society that has abandoned them. And if the U.S. doesn’t wake up, we’re next, if it’s not already too late.

Youth groups and Young Life are not adequately equipped to address the crisis facing boys. We need a more intentional and focused approach. So, what is the church going to do about it? What is your church doing about this?

[Just an FYI—I have a presentation on how churches can respond to the boy crisis and what they should be doing. If you’re interested in having me speak at your event or podcast, let’s connect here. I’m donating my time to RUF chapters in 2025 and 2026. This is something men should be thinking about long before they get married.