I wonder if part of the problem is that service appears to be a one sided kind of relationship to many men. That is, talk about service to them sounds like them serving others, but never others serving them, and their formative experiences were in relationships where their needs were not met. So if your perceived options are sacrifice and responsibility without community, or self centeredness, self centeredness would rationally seem more appealing.
I wonder if part of the problem is that service appears to be a one sided kind of relationship to many men. That is, talk about service to them sounds like them serving others, but never others serving them, and their formative experiences were in relationships where their needs were not met. So if your perceived options are sacrifice and responsibility without community, or self centeredness, self centeredness would rationally seem more appealing.